Janette, a 46-year-old woman who was recently divorced from her third husband, walked into a community mental health center with slurred speech, unable to make decisions, exhibiting extremely poor self-care and diminished expectations. All of her husbands were drug addicts; and the last one also was a sex addict (a term that was not readily […]
Addiction Help
Help for Addiction Alcohol and drug abuse problems can be treated. Once someone decides that they need help, help is available. But then, what if the person is unwilling to get help? Addiction thrives in Secrecy We can begin by recognizing that we are not alone, many families are dealing with similar situation. We may […]
Children of Alcoholics/Children of Substance Abusers
Children of Alcoholics and Substance Abusers Children of alcoholics and other substance abusers are a population without a clear definition. Because the concept of COA(Children of Alcoholics)/COSA (Children of Substance Abusers) is focused on the child rather than the parent, the definition of a COA/COSA is any child whose parent (or parental caregiver) uses alcohol […]
New Face of Codependency
Virginia Satir, a key figure in family systems theory, studied more than 10,000 families and discovered that 96 percent of them exhibited codependent thoughts or behaviors. “The more current definition of codependency includes many behaviors, not just enabling” (…) “It is based on compulsively deferring to others to direct what you will do or say, […]
Defenses and Denial
Being in recovery means we don’t need or want to lie to ourselves. Denial is our escape from reality, our fantasy. It’s lying to ourselves. All is fine, and we are in control. Denial keeps us from the truth. A spiritual reality is that when we experience faith, we can change and transform. Many of […]
Healing from Co-dependency
The concept of ‘co-dependency’ (also called ‘co-alcoholism’ when alcoholism is involved) refers to an unhealthy pattern of relating to others that results from being closely involved with an alcoholic or addict, whether they are seeking a drug treatment center or not. Co-dependency is a generic term. It has been defined in various ways, but all […]
Issues of Alcoholic Families
Adult Children of Alcoholics – Alcoholism runs in families and children of alcoholics run a higher risk of developing alcoholism than children in the mainstream of the population. Adult children of alcoholics also tend to marry alcoholics, and although they may not be aware of it at the time, they are continuing a pattern. Families […]
Characteristics of ACOA by Janet G. Woititz
In 1983 author Janet G. Woititz listed, in her book “Adult Children of Alcoholics”, thirteen characteristics most adult children have in common. This list is also known as the “A.C.O.A. Characteristic List” by many adult children. The 13 Characteristics of A.C.O.A. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. Adult children of alcoholics […]
Al-Anon Can Help Resolve Some of the Past Family Issues
We can easily recognize how alcohol affects the drinker. It’s not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker’s behavior has affected them. These questions put together by Al-Anon can help you identify the effects of someone else’s drinking. If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, Al‑Anon Family Groups may […]
Alcoholism And Its Effect on The Family
Alcoholics can be of any age, background, income level, social, or ethnic group. Very often alcoholism affects highly educated people. Several studies even showed that people who lack motivation are less likely to become addicted to alcohol than highly motivated individuals (Silverstein, 1990). Silverstein in his book “Alcoholism” gives three criteria that the American Psychiatric […]
Core Issues For Children of Alcoholics
The phrase Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) refers to those individuals who were adversely impacted by familial alcoholism. An ACOA is an individual who experiences a recognizable, diagnosable reaction to familial alcoholism. These individuals are particularly vulnerable to certain emotional, physical, and spiritual problems. There are identifiable core issues that ACOA’s experience. Control is one […]
How to Let Go ?
In their book: “It’s So Hard to Love You”, Bill Klatte and Kate Thompson provide us with some ideas as to how to “let go” in a loving way. Some of their suggestions are: 1. Let go of the fantasy that you can change someone else You can’t change your difficult loved one regardless of […]
Parenting Teens Who Have Addictions
Firm vs. Angry Finding out that your teen is addicted to drugs is emotionally devastating. Your first reaction may be anger toward your son or daughter. After the anger, though, parents need to find the strength to parent their teen with firmness and support. Whether a teen with drug addiction or chemical dependency is living […]
Help Others, Help Myself.
You have tried to help a loved one who is abusing alcohol, drugs or gambling, and you are beginning to feeling frustrated, confused and hopeless? It seems that no matter how hard you try, things are not getting any better; on the contrary things seem to get worse, or even spiral out of control. Your […]
Interveening with Your Teen
You don’t need to be scared off by the word “intervention.” An intervention can be as simple as a conversation in which you express your concern to someone about his or her drug use – it is not an attack on that person, and it doesn’t always need to be followed by rehab. The point […]
When Planning an Intervention…
A drug intervention should be approached as calmly and respectfully as possible. Anything can influence the effectiveness of intervention, including: tone of voice, words we choose, body language, our emotional state, timing, place, and so on… The goal of the intervention is get the individual to listen and hear what we have to say, and […]
A Drug Intervention
A drug intervention is a process that helps a drug addict recognize the extent of their problem. Individuals who are addicted to drugs or alcohol usually do not know their addiction is out of control. They tend to look at those around them as a measure of how right or wrong their actions are. Those […]
Codependent or Not ?
Living and dealing with a drug addict can be devastating. There’s no easy way to find out, no way to soften the blow. Deciding how to proceed with your friendship or relationship with someone who is addicted to drugs and alcohol is tricky, and it often feels like all the pressure is on you to […]